I had a coaching call with a 1:1 client today and she said something to me that has become probably the most common thing that I hear in my programs:
“I can’t believe I actually WANT to do these things I had to force myself to do before!”
As a new mom with a brand new baby and a full-time job, she had been struggling to want to eat anything healthy or do any type of exercise at all.
Before she met me, my client’s attempts to lose weight looked like:
- force feeding herself healthy food then falling off the wagon at night or on the weekends (or both)
- forcing herself to follow calorie and macros plans then giving up when it was too exhausting to count on top of all her responsibilities as a mom
- forcing herself to do exercise that felt like a chore because she felt she HAD to do it to lose weight
None of what she was doing was working, and she was tired of forcing herself through the motions until she just couldn’t take it anymore and gave up. At the very least, she didn’t want to feel so controlled by food, exercise, and obsession with her body anymore.
The problem with what she was trying to do before wasn’t the actions themselves, but rather, the mindset she was operating from.
For her entire adult life, she had viewed healthy eating and exercise as the thing that she HAD to do if she wanted to lose weight. It was a means to an end, and because of this, felt like a chore.
And how much do we want to do chores when skipping them affects no one but us? (Us being moms, the ones who always put ourselves last on the list)
This is a diet, control-based mindset based on fear, and it’s full of problems. Aside from being non-effective for the long term because consistency is virtually impossible, it’s a MISERABLE way to live.
Miserable chores, wooo hooo, sounds fun!
With diets and the “white-knuckle” mentality, we self-impose a prison of rules we must follow because we’re desperate to lose weight and fix ourselves. It’s rooted in fear and self-loathing, and it feels so good to let ourselves out of that prison every so often that it gets harder and harder to put ourselves back in. The freedom feels too good.
But as my client learned like hundreds of clients (and myself!) before her, there is a better way.
When you shift your mindset away from white-knuckling and dieting and instead move towards self-care and self-compassion, it changes EVERYTHING.
Now that you’re not caught up on results, you’re not forcing yourself into the prison of rules, and you’ve separated eating and movement from weight loss, you have mental space to begin to focus on how you want to feel.
And guess what makes you feel amazing – healthy food and exercise! And you know what makes that all feel sustainable? FREEDOM.
Now you can stop jumping on and off the wagon because there is no wagon. Just imperfect but consistent action that feels great.
That’s what the self-care mindset does for you. That’s when you go from “I have to do this to fix myself and it’s a chore and I don’t wanna” to “I WANT to do this so I feel amazing all day and can handle the ridiculous responsibilities of my life as a mom”.
It becomes addicting when you realize how much easier it makes everything.
If you’ve been wondering why you can’t stay consistent, and why a healthy lifestyle feels so miserable and restrictive, you need a shift in thinking.
And while this may seem simple, it’s not always easy. There are many old thinking patterns to de-program and focus points to shift.
Which is exactly why I’m including this very important topic in my workshops at the Strength in Mothers Retreat (September 27-29 in Austin, TX). I’ll be teaching you the exact methods, strategies and philosophies that I teach my clients and have used to maintain my own healthy lifestyle even in the midst of raising four kids.
This is not just the basics either – these are the LIFE-CHANGING, transformational ideas that have my clients reporting not only healthier bodies and relationships with food, but healthier relationships with their spouses, career changes, and improved happiness on all levels.
But your first act of self-care has to start right here, right now in order to get that momentum going: secure one of the limited retreat spots TODAY before the early bird price goes away ($297 to $497).
I promise you that it will be worth the time, effort, and money it takes to get there. You’ll connect with other women who have gone through this process with me, along with women who are also just getting started. You’ll leave feeling supported, connected, and with a plan to take action in your life once you’re home.
Let me know if you have questions!