My husband has been bringing home a bag of candy from his weekly Target run and putting it in a bowl, leaving it in the kitchen for all to enjoy.
As I saw it this morning, three days later and still half full, I was reflecting back on how my perspective on a bowl of candy has changed SO MUCH since I first began struggling with my postpartum body.
Back in the day when I was always on or off a diet, a bowl of candy in the house would have made me insane. Either I would have been sneaking it all day, ashamed of myself and hiding it from my family, or I’d be in the other room obsessing over it – “How do I not eat it? Should I throw it away? What if I just had one? Would I be able to stop? I can start over tomorrow! I’ll just eat it all and it will be gone. No I’ll regret that! Don’t eat the candy. Just eat the candy!”
But now, I don’t think about it. If I’m in the kitchen and I want a piece, I take it. Or two. Then I move on with my life.
I am now one of “those people” who can have a bowl of candy in the house and a) not go crazy eating it all and b) not think about it unless I’m looking at it.
I NEVER thought I could be that girl.
That was never me up until about 6 years ago when I began to finally heal my relationship with food.
Does this cycle sound familiar?
- I’m so ashamed of my eating and my body.
- I have to get control.
- I’ll be “good” and eat healthy/not eat carbs/restrict sugar.
- I can’t stop thinking about that food!
- I’m going to eat the food…so I might as well enjoy it because this is the last time! I’ll start again Monday.
- I’m so ashamed of how I just ate and my body.
- I have to get control…
- (And repeat and repeat and repeat)
If this is you, understand that you MUST heal your relationship with food if you ever want to maintain a consistently healthy lifestyle.
I was skeptical when my husband first introduced the idea of balanced, intuitive eating. I thought I couldn’t be trusted around sugar, because look how insane I behaved when I allowed myself one bite! I would go crazy!
But I trusted the process and healed my relationship with food. I let myself eat “junk” food. And yes, at first, I ate a lot of it. It definitely wasn’t a time to be focused on weight loss or nutrition, and when I accepted that and accepted that I HAD to heal my relationship with food, I was able to make the connections I needed to make. The healing phase had to take priority in order for me to get to that feeling of freedom that allows me to just have a few bites of candy today, and not obsess.
Now I am not swinging constantly between two extremes of being “on” or “off” a diet. I’m FREE. I just eat.
When women are pregnant or have just had babies, they struggle with this cycle more than ever. The guilt and shame they feel over their changing bodies can plunge them right into this cycle, which is exactly why I work with these moms to learn how to dig their way out.
Do you know what you are capable of when food doesn’t take up the majority of your headspace? Can you even imagine the freedom that would give you, the extra energy to be present with your baby? It’s not uncommon for me to hear that my clients have re-connected with their spouses and improved their marriages in miraculous ways, with new energy to devote to the relationship.
Food obsession and the binge/restrict cycle can affect your life DEEPLY, even if it feels like a small aspect.
It’s worth taking the time to heal and learn so that you can live your life with a sense of freedom and not let food hold you down.
What would it feel like to have a bowl of candy in your house and not obsess about it all day? Hit reply and let me know!
PS-If you relate to the binge/restrict cycle and want to learn more, I discuss these topics and more daily on IGTV, click here to view my channel