Are you pregnant but squeezing yourself into whatever clothes you can find that still fit? Or, did you just have a baby, and refuse to buy larger clothes to fit your post-baby body?
I’m here today to talk to you.
Once I thought, just like you, that buying new clothes meant admitting defeat. Giving up on my goals.
I thought that my discomfort would drive me to workout harder, eat better, and push me to lose the extra weight or keep that pregnancy weight in check.
Close your eyes for a second and picture what it feels like to be in those too-tight clothes. Really feel it.
Ugh. Not good, right?
The thing is, the rationale that says discomfort and deprivation from nice clothes will drive you to workout and get your weight in check is the SAME rationale that makes you beat yourself up in the mirror because you’re not perfect. Your inner voice is relying on shame and negativity to motivate you, but, as Dr. Phil likes to say, how’s that working out for you?
It’s probably not. That’s because the shame and discomfort creates a mentality that does not allow for permanent positive changes.
You might be able to shame and punish your body to fit into the clothes you want to fit into temporarily, but it won’t last. That kind of negativity is like a snowball that builds and builds until it destroys everything in its path.
If deep down you don’t believe you’re worth wearing beautiful, flattering clothes right now, you never will. Nothing will change that.
Now close your eyes and think about an outfit you own or have owned that makes you feel proud and confident when you put it on. Just knowing you are wearing it makes you walk a little taller or with a bounce in your step. It might even just be a pair of shoes or a top, but whatever it is, you LOVE how it makes you feel.
These are two starkly different mentalities: punishment and self-love. And they produce vastly different results.
The punishment mentality is ruled by negativity. When you’re in this state of mind, deep down somewhere you truly believe that you need to be ruled like a dictator to get any kind of performance or results.
Have you ever had a boss, a teacher, a coach, or maybe even a parent who treated you this way? They yelled and screamed and put you down to get you to do what they wanted. Maybe it worked, but you were miserable, didn’t learn anything, and constantly thought about quitting? Were you at peace, or were you living in a constant state of fear?
Now think about the parent, boss, teacher, or coach who made you feel capable and confident, who encouraged you to use your strengths and simply gave positive suggestions for overcoming your weaknesses.
Now: which one of those do you think got better results from you (and just plain made you happy to be around)?
This is why when it comes to our bodies, we have to approach ourselves from that place of positivity and love. No matter what stage of the game you’re in, you deserve to feel beautiful and confident in the clothes you dress yourself in each day. Yes, they are just clothes: but they will change the way you walk, the way you feel, and the actions you take.
So whether you need to shop for maternity clothes, or need to dress your body after having a baby, invest not only some money but also some time in finding clothes that fit you well and make you feel beautiful and confident. Before you hit the dressing room, remind yourself that your body has perfect chemistry with many outfits and clothing items out there, you just have to find them. Don’t allow yourself to have a meltdown if clothes don’t flatter you: it’s not your body’s fault, it’s just a compatibility thing.
Don’t spend your money on something that you don’t instantly love when you put it on. This goes for workout clothes, lounge wear, lingerie, work clothes, maternity clothes, and even nursing bras (yes, there are beautiful nursing bras!). And if you own clothes that make you feel frumpy or are too tight, get rid of them. How you feel from minute to minute has SUCH a huge impact on how you live your life! Take advantage of the way clothes make you feel and purge the negativity!
You deserve to feel sexy, confident, and worthy right effing now, not when ________ (fill in the blank).
ACTION 1: This week, go through your clothes and get rid of everything that doesn’t make you feel good when you put it on (store, sell, or donate). Comment below and let me know what you got rid of!
ACTION 2: Do some research on the kinds of outfits you really like and make a plan for what you need to purchase (I love Pinterest and this site for finding clothing combinations I like, then I copy them as best I can at discount stores like H&M). As your budget allows, begin to add these pieces to your collection. You should walk into your closet and feel joy, like you could put on anything and feel amazing.
PS – It’s amazing what putting on a sexy little number can do for you when you’re not feeling so hot about your body during pregnancy and breastfeeding. My friends over at You! Lingerie offer sexy, stylish lingerie for this very reason and are having an amazing 30% off sale through August 5th. Shop by clicking here and entering the code BOOBLIFE 🙂